Child custody decisions are among the most difficult for parents to make in any divorce, separation, or relationship break-up. They must make choices regarding legal custody and physical custody. Whether they’ll share custody or one parent will have sole custody. They must decide on a parenting plan and where their child will spend holidays and summer vacations. If you’re one of those parents, then you might just need a little help from a mediator, a trained professional who assists parents with child custody decisions.
Welcome the Child Custody Mediator
Some people are under the mistaken impression that child custody mediators make decisions for parents. They don’t. Mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution, but the mediator is a neutral facilitator, not an adjudicator. Furthermore, mediators must remain neutral and cannot advocate one parent’s position over the other parent.
The mediator is trained to assist the parties in reaching an agreement on custody matters by helping them resolve disputed issues one at a time. When parents are at odds over where their children should spend the holidays, for example, the mediator may suggest a reasonable alternative, such as an alternating schedule where the mother has the children for holidays landing on even-numbered years and the father has them for holidays landing on the odd-numbered years (or vice versa). It’s up to each parent to determine if that arrangement is acceptable or unacceptable. When acceptable to both, the mediator will include that term as part of the parents’ mediation agreement.
Child Custody Mediation Is Private and Confidential
You’ve probably heard that “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”? Well, the same principle applies to mediation, a process that is both private and confidential. For the most part, what happens in mediation stays in mediation.
In general, the mediator cannot be called by either parent’s attorney as a witness to testify on what was discussed during child custody mediation. This confidentiality assures that both parents can trust the mediation process and the neutrality of the third-party mediator. Trust allows them to speak freely about their concerns, to say what they really believe is true, and be clear about what they want for their children’s future.
What Child Custody Issues Can Be Presented for Mediation?
Any legal issue can be presented for mediation, but because so many decisions need to be made regarding the minor children, custody mediation is an ideal way to resolve those issues. Here are some of the custody matters an experienced mediator can facilitate:
- Who will have legal custody, or legal decision-making authority, over the child?
- Which parent will decide the faith the child will be raised in?
- Will the parents share joint custody or will one parent have sole custody?
- Who will be the custodial parent, or will they share physical custody equally?
- How will parenting time be scheduled and how will parenting time exchanges be handled?
- How will the parents share information and communicate with each other regarding parenting matters?
- How will visitation, even supervised visitation, be scheduled?
- Who will decide which daycare facility to use?
- Will there be additional child support contributions for extra-curricular activities, travel during summer vacation, or private school tuition?
Still No Agreement After Child Custody Mediation?
Ordinarily, unresolved child custody disputes are placed in the hands of the judge who is an adjudicator. When parents disagree on child custody and mediation does not help them resolve all of their differences, the court will decide the remaining issues in the best interests of the child.
Natalie Mathews is a family law and divorce attorney working in Stewart Law Group’s Phoenix office. The firm has helped many clients navigate the legal complexities of divorce, child custody, spousal support, property division, parental visitation, and child relocation disputes.
