Every divorce will have challenges, but divorce with children may be so emotionally charged that, for many parents, the family’s break-up becomes a heart-wrenching experience. Although the terminology may differ from one jurisdiction to the next, when the family court addresses child custody, one parent is often designated as the primary residential custodian. Many factors go into the court’s determination, even when the parents are in full agreement. For example, when one parent was employed full-time while the other stayed home as the caretaker, naming the stay-at-home parent as the primary residential custodian may be persuasive for the judge, although not determinative because many issues need to be considered.
Today, More Parents Share Legal Custody
There is a growing trend for parents to accept the responsibilities of joint custody, sharing physical and legal custody almost equally. Will custody be shared? How much parenting time will each spouse enjoy? Will regular visitation be liberally awarded to the non-custodial parent? These are only some of the matters to be addressed by parents in the parenting plan. The decisions made will affect both their current and future relationships with a son or daughter.
Spending More Time with the Kids
In almost every divorce, the family court will authorize a reasonable parenting agreement that sets forth both parties’ responsibilities and parenting time with the child. Child custody agreements, or parenting plans, are very specific. They detail which parent shall have the child on weekends, weekdays, holidays, school vacations, and the like. The plan specifies who shall have legal decision-making authority over the child’s religious upbringing, education, and health care. Parents may agree on where the child resides and who pays for child-related expenses beyond what is minimally required for child support. But even when the parent isn’t awarded primary physical custody, there are many ways to maintain a healthy relationship with one’s child, starting with technology.
Staying Connected with Virtual Visitation
Thanks to virtual visitation with voice-over-internet protocol (VOIP) services and apps such as Skype and FaceTime, there are many ways for the non-custodial parent to stay in regular contact with his or her child. Likewise, during vacations, the custodial parent can stay in touch using VOIP during the child’s time with the other parent. Many studies have shown that positive, regular communication between parent and child following the divorce will strengthen the bond between them. Military parents are Skyping their kids daily, a way for them to engage, see their expressions, observe what they are doing, and talk casually as though they were chatting in the same room. VOIP is a great way to read bedtime stories to the little ones when the service member and child are physically separated by so many miles.
Parenting Plans Cover Every Detail
What happens if you live in a different state than the primary custodial parent? Child custody arrangements provide for that, too, but so will applicable statutory terms in the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) as adopted by the states. In general, children do better after divorce when both parents remain active players in their young lives. When custody is a hotly contested issue, a spouse may need to advocate more aggressively to get the custody, parenting time, or visitation that he or she desires. Retaining a child custody lawyer to assist in drafting the parenting plan (and any other divorce agreements involving custody and child support issues) often results in a better outcome for parent and child.
Christa Banfield is a family law and divorce attorney working in Stewart Law Group’s Gilbert office. The firm has helped many clients navigate the legal complexities of divorce, child custody, spousal support, property division, parental visitation, and child relocation disputes.
