The dissolution of long-term marriages among older adults, typically referred to as gray divorce, is increasingly prevalent in modern society, with a notable rise among women. This trend is underscored by statistics provided by the United States Census Bureau, which indicate a higher percentage of adults aged 55 to 64 who have chosen to get a gray divorce, reaching approximately 43% for both men and women. Even among individuals aged 65 to 74, the divorce rate remains significant at 39%, which is significantly more than the general adult population.
A divorce lawyer commonly sees that there are common factors associated with older individuals seeking divorce later in their lives. Women over 60, in particular, are opting to seek divorce for reasons such as:
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Changing societal norms regarding gender roles and independence
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Financial independence
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Personal fulfillment of life goals
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The desire to escape unhealthy or unsatisfying relationships
However, gray divorces involving women with special needs children present unique challenges and complexities that are not present in common divorce scenarios. The presence of a special needs child adds layers of stress and considerations that are often overlooked in the conventional gray divorce scenarios. Unlike couples without special needs children, women going through a gray divorce with a special needs child must navigate the emotional and practical implications of divorcing while ensuring the continued well-being and care of their child. The decision to divorce becomes even more fraught with concerns about the child's future, including their:
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Financial support
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Access to specialized healthcare
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The stability of their living arrangements.
The process of co-parenting may also require additional coordination and resources to accommodate the child's unique needs, further escalating the strain on both parents. Consequently, gray divorces involving women with special needs children demand a more nuanced approach, putting an emphasis on empathy, support, and specialized guidance to address the distinct challenges inherent in such circumstances.
Things To Consider When Getting A Grey Divorce With A Special Needs Child
When navigating a gray divorce with a special needs child, it's important to be aware of the array of unique factors that come into play. As a woman with a special needs child, being aware of the various things that will be impacted when going through a gray divorce is important. These considerations include various aspects of the child's care, well-being, and financial support, demanding a thoughtful and comprehensive approach throughout the divorce proceedings. Considering these factors is essential to ensure the best possible outcome for both the parents and the special needs child involved.
Determining Child Support With Special Needs Children
When getting a gray divorce with a special needs child, child support payments may not end upon reaching the age of legal adulthood, as it does not apply in the same manner as it does for neurotypical children. While child support payments typically end at age 18, the situation changes significantly when a child has special needs that require ongoing care and support into adulthood. In such cases, if one parent is primarily responsible for the child's caregiving and financial support, the other parent may be required to continue providing child support even after they have reached the age of majority.
This extended financial obligation is often necessary to ensure the continued well-being and quality of life of the adult special needs child. More often than not, the mother takes care of the special needs child, such as living with them, taking them to medical appointments, physical therapy, etc. Therefore, child support is implemented to financially support the child, particularly in areas concerning essential services like:
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Healthcare
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Therapy
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Respite care
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In-home care services
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Specialized education programs
Given the ongoing nature of the child's dependency and the heightened costs associated with their ongoing care, the non-guardian parent may find themselves legally obligated to contribute to the child's support well into adulthood, reflecting the unique circumstances and needs of special needs children and their families. This is a particularly important aspect of women divorcing with special needs children later in life, especially if they were a stay at home mother, and do not have the means to reenter the workforce post divorce.
Child Custody For Special Needs Children
In the context of gray divorces involving minor special needs children, traditional custody arrangements may not always be suitable or practical options. While typical custody agreements prioritize shared time between both parents where the child travels between each parent’s household, the unique needs of a special needs child require careful consideration during the divorce process. Unlike in standard custody agreements where frequent transitions between households are the most common, such disruptions can be particularly challenging for children with special needs. Special needs children often thrive on stability and routine, and forcing them to transition from one home to another may not be in the best interests of the child.
Logistical factors such as the accessibility of each parent's home and proximity to necessary medical care can further complicate special needs custody decisions during a gray divorce. This necessitates a more flexible and customized approach to custody arrangements, where parents must collaborate to create a living situation that prioritizes the well-being and special needs of their child. In such cases, creative solutions, or one parent having sole custody, may be required to ensure that the child's best interests remain at the forefront of the divorce proceedings.
Guardianship After The Child Reaches 18
As a woman going through a gray divorce with a special needs child, it's imperative to consider the issue of guardianship once the child reaches the age of 18. If the child's disabilities prevent them from living independently, parents may need to establish legal guardianship to make decisions on their behalf, including health care and financial decisions. While not every special-needs child requires a guardian, in cases where it's deemed necessary, parents must decide who will assume this role when going through a divorce.
In an amicable divorce, both parents could potentially serve as co-guardians, sharing equal legal rights as long as they can reach beneficial agreements that are in the best interests of the adult special needs child. However, if cooperation is not an option, resolving the matter of guardianship may require legal intervention and the guidance of a knowledgeable divorce attorney.
Navigating such complexities in a divorce involving a special-needs child demands careful consideration and legal guidance to ensure a secure and supportive future for both the parents and the child. Working alongside an experienced divorce attorney provides legal assistance in addressing these intricate matters and safeguarding the well-being of all parties involved, while keeping the child’s best interests at the center of all decisions.
